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A couple on a casual coffee date, representing modern dating
November 12, 2024 / Mondy Dorsainvil

The High Expectations of Modern Dating

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New Year is just around the corner, and you need to be updated about the coming trends in dating!

Welcome to the Wild World of Dating in 2025

These days, some folks are swiping right with expectations higher than Elon Musk’s rocket launches. They’re out here thinking the first date should be a scene straight out of Crazy Rich Asians, when most of us are just figuring out if we can afford guac on our Chipotle bowl.

Standards vs. Reality
There’s nothing wrong with having standards. But when your idea of a first date involves a private jet to Paris for dinner, honey, you might need to adjust your GPS back to reality.

The Rise of “Smutten” Fantasies

This year, the trend of “Smutten” has singles fantasizing about romantic lives mirroring the plotlines of their favorite TV shows or movies.

“Real life isn’t always as glamorous as Hollywood makes it seem.”

While dreaming big is great, grounding expectations is essential. The person who brings you coffee on a Tuesday might be just as charming as that fictional billionaire you’ve been daydreaming about.

Fun Fact:

  • 33% of singles fantasize about idealized romance.
  • Women are even more prone to this trend (40%) compared to men (28%).

The Problem with Sky-High Expectations

Unrealistic standards can lead to disappointment. It’s like ordering a five-course meal and getting a microwave dinner—it might still taste good, but it’s not what you imagined.

The pressure to meet these expectations is intense:

  • Wit like Chandler Bing.
  • Abs like Thor.
  • Bank account like Bruce Wayne.

Meanwhile, most of us are just trying to remember if we put on deodorant before leaving the house.

Embracing Imperfection

Here’s my challenge for 2025:
Take off those “Rizz-Colored Glasses.”

Instead of searching for perfection:

  • Find someone who makes you laugh.
  • Look for a partner who listens and accepts your quirks.
  • Enjoy the beauty of imperfection.

Pro Tip: Ask yourself:

  • Are my expectations realistic?
  • Are they based on genuine desires or just societal pressures?

Real Love Stories Are Messy

Dating isn’t about ticking boxes on an imaginary checklist. It’s about creating a new list together.

So, this year, let’s leave Hollywood fantasies on the screen and focus on building genuine connections. Because the best love stories? They’re the messy, wonderful ones we create ourselves.

Enjoy the journey—because that’s what dating is all about.

If you’re struggling with relationship issues or feeling stuck in a cycle of misunderstanding with a partner, don’t hesitate to seek out professional help. Sometimes all you need is a third party to help decipher the unspoken messages and create a game plan for building healthier relationships. The road to an open and honest relationship starts with getting real about your fears and learning new ways to express yourself. Take that first step, and watch your relationships transform.

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Mondy Dorsainvil

I'm a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) with over 12 years of experience in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate the complexities of their lives. Specializing in communication, conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and parenting challenges, I offer evidence-based and culturally sensitive therapeutic interventions tailored to each client’s unique needs. My approach is systemic and strengths-based, focusing on leveraging inherent strengths to achieve personal and relational goals. Committed to professional development, I stay abreast of the latest research and practices in Marriage and Family Therapy, including LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy. Join me here as we explore insightful strategies for positive change and personal growth.

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