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March 31, 2024 / Mondy Dorsainvil

Bad Boy Meets His Match

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Ripping Down Emotional Walls

When it comes to matters of the heart, us men can be a complicated breed. We put on this tough exterior, act like we’re too cool to catch feelings. But deep down, more than a few of us are scared of falling too deep, getting in over our heads with love. That’s the vibe I’m getting from this tune, “I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You).”

See, the brother singing this song, he’s not lacking in the confidence department from what I can tell. Nah, sounds more like a case of a self-aware bad boy. One of those cats who’s gotten a little too good at playing the game, at keeping things surface level to avoid getting burned. He knows his own tendency to catch feelings then ghost as soon as it starts getting real. But there’s a vulnerability there too, an openness to change, to being better…for the right woman. By admitting “I don’t trust myself with loving you,” he’s putting it all out on the table. Saying, “Look, I’ve got some baggage, some fears about going all in. But you’re special. You’re making me want to be better.”

You know, when you’ve been burned a few times, it gets harder to open yourself up fully. The hurt, it builds these walls, like emotional scar tissue forming over your heart. But the crazy thing is, the higher you build those walls, the more you cut yourself off from experiencing real, unconditional love when it finally comes along. You feel me? That’s the crux of it right there. This cat has been hurt before, maybe did some hurting of his own too. He’s gotten skilled at the hit-it-and-quit-it game to protect himself. But now he’s met someone who’s making him question that pattern, making him want to tear those walls down for a change.

It’s a unique angle on love songs for sure, coming at it from the perspective of a dude who’s usually the one with the commitment issues. Kind of flips the script on all those “you broke my heart” jams from the woman’s perspective. This is more like, “I’m probably gonna break your heart if I’m not careful, but I’m trying not to be that guy anymore.”

Deep down, I think a lot of us guys can relate to that internal push-and-pull when it comes to catching feelings. Questioning whether we’re really built for going all in emotionally or if we should just keep it surface, keep it moving before things get too heavy. It’s that age-old battle between the heart and the ego. But the most meaningful love is worth taking that risk, worth being vulnerable enough to say “I don’t trust myself fully yet, but I’m gonna try with you.” That’s some real self-awareness and growth right there. Dude’s putting himself out there, flaws and all, instead of putting up the usual front. You’ve gotta respect it, even if his way of expressing it is a little unorthodox.

So fellas, next time you catch yourself pulling away because the girl you’re with is getting a little too close for comfort, ask yourself – is this someone worth ripping down those walls for? Might just be time to woman up and be equally brave in love as she’s being with her heart on the line. After all, what’s life without a little risk when the potential reward is that profound bond we’re all craving deep down, whether we’ll admit it or not?

“I’m probably gonna break your heart if I’m not careful,

but I’m trying not to be that guy anymore.”

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Mondy Dorsainvil

I'm a Licensed Master Social Worker (LMSW) with over 12 years of experience in helping individuals, couples, and families navigate the complexities of their lives. Specializing in communication, conflict resolution, intimacy issues, and parenting challenges, I offer evidence-based and culturally sensitive therapeutic interventions tailored to each client’s unique needs. My approach is systemic and strengths-based, focusing on leveraging inherent strengths to achieve personal and relational goals. Committed to professional development, I stay abreast of the latest research and practices in Marriage and Family Therapy, including LGBTQ+ affirmative therapy. Join me here as we explore insightful strategies for positive change and personal growth.

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    Bad Boy Meets His Match