Well now, allow me to break this down for you nice and smooth like a finely aged glass of Tennessee whiskey going down real easy. You do know looks isn’t everything when it comes to finding that special someone, right? I know what y’all are thinking’ – “But Mondy, your wife is an absolute beauty, femme from Jacmel, belle bagay.” What are you talking about looks don’t matter? Hear me out now. I am not saying looks don’t matter one bit. We all human, and it’d be a damn lie to act like a pretty face don’t first catch this old man’s eye.  But I’m here to testify that it’s what’s on the inside that’ll really make you start drafting up them wedding vows. A sweet, young thang might first grab your attention with her outward appearance. But when it comes to holding on tight, like forever tight, we want much more from our Black queens.  I believe we ultimately look for four traits.

Trait #1:  Be Pleasant

I’m talking about a lady with a sunny disposition that can brighten up even your darkest days. See, life can get rough sometimes. Work stresses you out, bills are piling up, traffic was a nightmare – you know how it goes. That’s why coming home to a warm smile and a pleasant attitude is like hitting the relationship jackpot. When your lady greets you with a big ol’ grin and a “Hey honey, how was your day?”, it’s like someone just lifted a huge weight right off your shoulders.

Trait #2:  Be Agreeable

I’m talking’ about a sweet pea who doesn’t make every little thing into World War III. Now look, I know us fellas can be a bit knuckleheaded at times. We leave the toilet seat up, forget to take out the trash, you know how we can be. But an agreeable lady? She lets those little things roll right off her back without kicking’ up a fuss. She understands that at the end of the day, those are just minor missteps, not relationship-enders.

An agreeable woman is all about compromise and give-and-take. She’s willing to meet you halfway instead of always insisting her way is the only way. Whether it’s deciding where to go for date night or picking out new furniture, she’ll hear you out and find that sweet middle ground that leaves you both satisfied. But it isn’t just about going with the flow. An agreeable partner also knows when to put her foot down in a respectful, loving manner. She isn’t a doormat to be walked all over. Nah, she simply picks her battles wisely and stands up for what really matters to her with poise and grace.

Trait #3:  Be Fit

Ooh, you know I got to address the fellas’ desire for a fit woman! and it’s an important one.  Now, I am not just talking’ about some superficial music video hotty type of fit. Though, don’t get me wrong, a little eye candy never hurt nobody! What I’m really getting at is a woman who takes pride in her health and has an active lifestyle. See, a fit woman is more than just a body. It’s a mindset – a commitment to taking care of herself through proper diet and exercise. And let me tell you, there’s something innately attractive about a woman who’s that dedicated to feeling’ and looking’ her best.

Trait #3:  Be Feminine

Finally, we’re getting to the real good stuff – the crème de la crème that makes a lady truly irresistible to us fellas. I’m talking’ about our undying appreciation for that lovely feminine energy.  See, there’s just something intoxicating about a woman who embodies the essence of femininity.  It’s like a nice, refreshing glass of sweet lemonade on a scorching hot summer day. That nurturing, loving, caring side gets us all tingly inside. And don’t even get me started on those sexy ways you move and talk to us? Ooh wee, it’s enough to make an old man’s heart start racing!

Having a fine, feminine partner is like having your own personal lovely lady masseuse tending to your heart and soul. She knows just how to rub you the right way to melt all that stress away. With her gentle touch and soothing words, it’s like getting an all-over body massage from the inside out. She’s working out all the kinks and knots in your spirit until you’re feeling brand new.

And let’s keep it real – a little feminine mystique and playfulness in the boudoir doesn’t hurt either, if you know what I mean! winks When your lady is in touch with her feminine side, ooh she knows just how to keep that spark alive and burning bright. You’ll be feeling romanced and appreciated in all the right ways, if you catch my drift.  See, it’s those special feminine qualities – the nurturing, the loving care, the ability to bring some sexy sizzle – that’s the real key. Looks might get you interested, but it’s appreciating the full feminine experience that’ll make a fella never want to let it go. Trust me, I know!  Once you get a taste of that feminine magic, you’ll be hooked for life!

So, fellas, next time you’re out there looking for that special someone, remember to keep an eye out for the whole package. Looks might get you interested, but it’s those other qualities that’ll really make your heart go pitter-patter. Trust me, once you’ve had a taste of that kind of love, you’ll never want to settle for anything less. and Ladies, we “gave you the goodies!”

* Jacmel: One of the many places in Haiti known for producing beautiful women.