As a husband and father to three remarkable Black women, I deeply admire their strength and brilliance. Yet, I’m acutely aware of the immense pressures and isolation they face simply for being Black women today. Loneliness statistics within this community are staggering, highlighting the urgent need for sacred “third places” – empowering community spaces beyond home and work.
Loneliness is a significant issue among Black women, compounded by the intersectionality of racism, sexism, and the expectation to be infallible caregivers. They face intense discrimination that combines racist stereotypes with misogyny, leading to immense pressures and a sense of isolation. Third places provide a much-needed refuge for Black women, offering a sanctuary to breathe, belong, and nurture themselves wholly without conditions or constraints. These spaces allow them to be authentically themselves, without masks, and find support and acceptance.
I’ve witnessed the transformative impact of third places firsthand. Each month, my wife’s rejuvenation is palpable after she spends time with her women friends over brunch – her treasured third place. After pouring herself into entrepreneurship and family obligations, I see the renewed light in her eyes from those sacred morning gatherings. She returns uplifted, having had her struggles and successes truly seen and valued by this nurturing circle.
As fathers, brothers, and allies, it’s our duty to help facilitate these havens beyond our own doors. I implore all of you to have these crucial conversations. Ask the Black women in your life – be they friends, relatives, or coworkers: What communities allow them to be authentically seen, heard, and uplifted? Where do they find respite and renewal amid society’s unfair pressures?
Black queens bear immense, multi-layered burdens we rarely even perceive. Nurturing their cherished villages to rejuvenate their spirits is the least we can do. On this International Women’s Day let’s celebrate their remarkable fortitude by empowering third place sanctuaries in their honor.
It’s essential to question and reflect on current practices, overcome obstacles, and find motivation in fostering third places. Supporting Black women in creating and sustaining these spaces is crucial for their well-being and empowerment. Visionary Black women are rising to meet the need for third places. Trailblazers like Ronke Faleti, who birthed the korédé House sanctuary in St. Louis, are providing nourishing spaces to work, rest, gather, and simply “breathe.” These villages serve as a reminder that the lived experiences of Black women matter.
Every Black woman deserves an embracing space that uplifts her fully without condition. A refuge from external pressures and internalized doubts. A third-place village nurturing her whole, authentic self. On this International Women’s Day, I encourage you women to nurture more of these vital sanctuaries into existence while tenderly uplifting those already blossoming.
